It happened so suddenly, so unexpectedly. Unbeknownst to me my heart spoke before my brain had a chance to approve of the content that flowed so naturally from my lips. "I love you." I tried my best to over ride what was coming out but the best I could do was lower my head and mumble out the last word. Whats funny is I'm not sure if those words were herd......
Do you remember being in elementary school, raising your hand and instead of saying Mr or Mrs whomever you said mom or dad? I do. How embarrassing!
That is something of what I did and felt as I prepared to leave that Lima bus station. Alex (traveling partner/friend) and I met a few people during our short time in Lima at Hostel 1900, Mauro, Amanda, and Russell. We shared a few meals, walked about the city, danced a bit at a club, shared a few drinks, and a couple cab rides. We had only know Mauro for about 2 1/2 days, Amanda for 2 and Russell 1/2 a day, yet it felt like we were friends, actual friends that I was invested in, friends whose well being I cared about. To me it was all so surreal. I couldn't understand why, I had no explanation for the connection I felt with these strangers.
Though our time was short it was rich. We all listened to one another, looked out for each other, shared meals together, and wished the best for one another. As a person who can be very suspicious and guarded this is no small thing. I can only point to one individual in my life who upon meeting felt an instant attachment and love for, and it was so out of the blue, so intense that I became afraid and I began praying and asking God if this was ok, and why was I thinking of and praying for this guy so much, and the Lord's reply was that there was purpose to our meeting, that the love I was feeling was God's love for him. I was calmed knowing that our friendship was setup and blessed by God. Now all of this occurred between christian people within the context of church community. But this time, I was in Peru, and these people total strangers. How could I boldly tell them that I loved them? I didn't know if they were believers, if so they still might find me a bit strange. Loving people who are not christians is not the issue at all but openly expressing said love to people you don't know very well is.
I know what I felt was good and pure, it had the finger prints of the Lord all over it, but it caught me totally off guard. Unless you have experienced this in some way you may think I am some lonely sappy nut job, and all of those things I may be lol but those last hours we spent together were precious to me. What I experienced came from a simple innocent place within that I am not as familiar with as I would like to be.
A few weeks prior to my vacation, while I was still in the US, I stood in my church lobby one Sunday and watched two kids outside playing and said to my friend standing next to me; "man, I remember that feeling of being a kid, meeting another kid in the sand box or on the jungle gym and they in an instant become your best friend. You would follow each other around and be totally caught up in playing with your new friend. On the ride home you would talk about your time with your new friend and pester your parents asking about when you will be able to see them again." I sighed deeply and said "man I could use more of that simplicity, that purity in my life" and then walk into the sanctuary. Many weeks later it seems the Lord answered that prayer.
When Alex and I boarded the bus I was sad to leave them. I wanted to hop off the bus and change our plans, go where they were going just so I could spend more time hanging out. While on the bus I quietly sat there trying to put my feelings and thoughts in check when an attendant came on board asking for Bryan Brown. I said yes thats me and he told me to follow him. I wasn't sure what was going on, I became nervous that a bottle of wine in my bag broke or that something was wrong with my ticket. When I exited the bus I realized nothing was wrong, it was Mauro, Amanda, and Russell returning my iphone charger. I was so excited, all those thoughts and feelings I was trying to box up came flooding out into four words; I love you guys. In the moment I felt foolish and emotional, but I realize now that those conversations, meals, drinks, and moments of celebration were sacred times and I love you was appropriate.
Do you remember being in elementary school, raising your hand and instead of saying Mr or Mrs whomever you said mom or dad? I do. How embarrassing!
That is something of what I did and felt as I prepared to leave that Lima bus station. Alex (traveling partner/friend) and I met a few people during our short time in Lima at Hostel 1900, Mauro, Amanda, and Russell. We shared a few meals, walked about the city, danced a bit at a club, shared a few drinks, and a couple cab rides. We had only know Mauro for about 2 1/2 days, Amanda for 2 and Russell 1/2 a day, yet it felt like we were friends, actual friends that I was invested in, friends whose well being I cared about. To me it was all so surreal. I couldn't understand why, I had no explanation for the connection I felt with these strangers.
Though our time was short it was rich. We all listened to one another, looked out for each other, shared meals together, and wished the best for one another. As a person who can be very suspicious and guarded this is no small thing. I can only point to one individual in my life who upon meeting felt an instant attachment and love for, and it was so out of the blue, so intense that I became afraid and I began praying and asking God if this was ok, and why was I thinking of and praying for this guy so much, and the Lord's reply was that there was purpose to our meeting, that the love I was feeling was God's love for him. I was calmed knowing that our friendship was setup and blessed by God. Now all of this occurred between christian people within the context of church community. But this time, I was in Peru, and these people total strangers. How could I boldly tell them that I loved them? I didn't know if they were believers, if so they still might find me a bit strange. Loving people who are not christians is not the issue at all but openly expressing said love to people you don't know very well is.
I know what I felt was good and pure, it had the finger prints of the Lord all over it, but it caught me totally off guard. Unless you have experienced this in some way you may think I am some lonely sappy nut job, and all of those things I may be lol but those last hours we spent together were precious to me. What I experienced came from a simple innocent place within that I am not as familiar with as I would like to be.
A few weeks prior to my vacation, while I was still in the US, I stood in my church lobby one Sunday and watched two kids outside playing and said to my friend standing next to me; "man, I remember that feeling of being a kid, meeting another kid in the sand box or on the jungle gym and they in an instant become your best friend. You would follow each other around and be totally caught up in playing with your new friend. On the ride home you would talk about your time with your new friend and pester your parents asking about when you will be able to see them again." I sighed deeply and said "man I could use more of that simplicity, that purity in my life" and then walk into the sanctuary. Many weeks later it seems the Lord answered that prayer.
When Alex and I boarded the bus I was sad to leave them. I wanted to hop off the bus and change our plans, go where they were going just so I could spend more time hanging out. While on the bus I quietly sat there trying to put my feelings and thoughts in check when an attendant came on board asking for Bryan Brown. I said yes thats me and he told me to follow him. I wasn't sure what was going on, I became nervous that a bottle of wine in my bag broke or that something was wrong with my ticket. When I exited the bus I realized nothing was wrong, it was Mauro, Amanda, and Russell returning my iphone charger. I was so excited, all those thoughts and feelings I was trying to box up came flooding out into four words; I love you guys. In the moment I felt foolish and emotional, but I realize now that those conversations, meals, drinks, and moments of celebration were sacred times and I love you was appropriate.
I pray blessings over you three, may the Lord show you how deeply he loves you, how closely he listens to you, and how eager he is to give you good gifts. May you be lavished in the love of God, and become more and more aware of his presence. He sees, He Hears, He responds, He knows, and He cares, oh how he cares for you. Peace.
Love you!
From left to right: Alex, Amanda, Me, Mauro
Russell, Mauro, Amanda
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