when my heart is over whelmed he will lead me to a rock that is higher than I.
You ever pray you didn't have the "good qualities" that you have?
Due to the fact that they seem to be the cause of your pain.
They make you vulnerable and appear weak.
I have prayed that before.
Wanting to be cold instead of caring, be selfish instead of selfless.
Living to please me and get only for me.
It seems the people who live like that live a happy life.
They are pleased, they got what they want, others don't get close enough to hurt them but they are close enough to please them.
You know God answers prayers right, well the answer to mine was....Nah Bruh...this is all you.
I pray that I may now be able to better aim my "good qualities" that they may hit the targets laid out, and that my accuracy increase. Though the targets may not always be there I pray that I don't get use to firing at them and feel a miss when then hit the ground.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
so where am I
These last few post were written far away from my home computer and deal with both past and present situations. New revalations and points that make me ponder....
I am a man of words......
Expression is the way I learn...i gotta get it out to take more in
You see sweet words and that they are......I am a poet at heart some things are blown up others dulled down.....cant make it that easy......some of it is what it is other stuff not so much.......
Sorrow sneaks in as the young teen girls march in..in over sized shoes for their night in with men who are..........men............
a different world here.......yet not quite..........
I bet if someone put u in a country by yourself just for 3 day where they really didnt speak ya language and their way of life left field of yours........i bet u would begin to appreiate all that you have become so comfortable in......
My waitress beautiful......her biggest dream.....in ten years to be able to have a car and license................smart and educated....speaks english well and with such energy........hard worker.....honest spirit....
I wish I could do something.......something to.....idk....make things better for her......and all the others whose biggest dream is to simple one day own a car......yes great goal and its awesome to want a simple life.....but there is so much more out there.....so much more in her...than just a server........i am fortunate i know.....i am rich to many......
so if my words seem a bit soppy and Gody lets switch places and then u will see....
i am thankful to God for His presence in my life and upon this earth and all the ppl that add to my life I love yall all the more......
expect a bit more affection.....
a couple extra hugs and hand shakes......
a few more dinner parties.......
longer hours of listening to your hearts desires and pains......
life is short and unexpected....
to all those who read this know i love you....and to those who wont love you too....
PS special shout out.....much ink is used on account of u......
I am a man of words......
Expression is the way I learn...i gotta get it out to take more in
You see sweet words and that they are......I am a poet at heart some things are blown up others dulled down.....cant make it that easy......some of it is what it is other stuff not so much.......
Sorrow sneaks in as the young teen girls march in..in over sized shoes for their night in with men who are..........men............
a different world here.......yet not quite..........
I bet if someone put u in a country by yourself just for 3 day where they really didnt speak ya language and their way of life left field of yours........i bet u would begin to appreiate all that you have become so comfortable in......
My waitress beautiful......her biggest dream.....in ten years to be able to have a car and license................smart and educated....speaks english well and with such energy........hard worker.....honest spirit....
I wish I could do something.......something to.....idk....make things better for her......and all the others whose biggest dream is to simple one day own a car......yes great goal and its awesome to want a simple life.....but there is so much more out there.....so much more in her...than just a server........i am fortunate i know.....i am rich to many......
so if my words seem a bit soppy and Gody lets switch places and then u will see....
i am thankful to God for His presence in my life and upon this earth and all the ppl that add to my life I love yall all the more......
expect a bit more affection.....
a couple extra hugs and hand shakes......
a few more dinner parties.......
longer hours of listening to your hearts desires and pains......
life is short and unexpected....
to all those who read this know i love you....and to those who wont love you too....
PS special shout out.....much ink is used on account of u......
S&W analysis
My weakness seems to also be my strength. I love the broken hearted and marginalized and they love that i love them. The broken hearted love with brokeness and the shards of their heart cut me deep. I love the broken hearted and that is my strength...but it often leaves them whole and me on the "cross" with holes in me. I am no victim nor savior, just a fool for loving hard and free. I fear that my love wont make you want to stay....beacsue all the others have left.......
leave if you must......your filling a space you were never ment to keep......
Peace.
leave if you must......your filling a space you were never ment to keep......
Peace.
Morning sunrise
The glory of the Lord rises just beyond the mountain tops and the light of the sun shines for all to see.
When i left the country of all my problems I come to find they are with me in the new one.
Written behind my eyes so they replay often.
What relief is there in sight?
That glory that peaks over the mountain and the light of the"sun".
Though my worries may follow and playback in my mind...God resides always in my heart.
If i could just be still and listen.
Receive that "piece"he so freely offers, pick the fruit of the spirit that will give strength to my inner man making me even stronger and able to stand and fight....
fight against the shallow desires of the flesh, the spiritual battles unseen, and the blind sight of here and now..........
When i left the country of all my problems I come to find they are with me in the new one.
Written behind my eyes so they replay often.
What relief is there in sight?
That glory that peaks over the mountain and the light of the"sun".
Though my worries may follow and playback in my mind...God resides always in my heart.
If i could just be still and listen.
Receive that "piece"he so freely offers, pick the fruit of the spirit that will give strength to my inner man making me even stronger and able to stand and fight....
fight against the shallow desires of the flesh, the spiritual battles unseen, and the blind sight of here and now..........
Car thoughts
I dont want to neglect or abuse the possiblity of what can be nor do i want to kill it by trying to over water it or by over protecting it........
Thus working on personal development is vital for growing potential into reality and furthermore, maintaing that new "reality" whatever that may be.
Focus on which factor?
The goose that lays golden eggs........The golden egg.......or the one who cares for the goose...........
One must first learn to properly care for the goose and its eggs. None is more important than the other...but there is an order on this plane.
Thus working on personal development is vital for growing potential into reality and furthermore, maintaing that new "reality" whatever that may be.
Focus on which factor?
The goose that lays golden eggs........The golden egg.......or the one who cares for the goose...........
One must first learn to properly care for the goose and its eggs. None is more important than the other...but there is an order on this plane.
Quote!
"What you are shouts so loudly in my ears i cannot hear what you say."
How true is this...What do you hear me saying behind my words? Are you brave enough to ask those you know that question?
How true is this...What do you hear me saying behind my words? Are you brave enough to ask those you know that question?
Air plane revalation
God never asks us to be something He is not. God wants us to be loving, forgiving, hospitable, accepting, caring, faithful, confident, and righteous. Even in rolls as people God does not say "woman be mother thogh I am not", nor does he say "man be father though I am not." God knows family and relationship because that is what he is....a family of three in perfect relationship with one another....lacking......nothing.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Record Life
A life not recorded is a life not lived.
Breath captured by ink, picked up by paper, viewed by eyes, processed by the mind, and if worth while stored in the heart.
Each word recorded has the potential to be a seed of great value.
Each day alive is not lived for you alone.
A road to nowhere makes its way onto a map which ends at a tunnel of fear & Hope.
Once through and hope is restored a series of paths to be chosen only one choice to be made.
Walking through the density of life much trouble is revealed.
Innate senses say to flee but the tracks laid before pull saying to go forth.
A destination finally reach and a journey back seems easy.
Each step taken opens the doors of the heart untouched by God and hidden from man.
Streams now flow from the wells of eyes as sorrows of chapters already lived are rehearsed to the author of life.
One answer to many questions is whispered through the still air, "You did not go through this for yourself, but to bring someone else through."
With your life, bring someone else through.
With your words, bring someone else through.
Record Life!
Breath captured by ink, picked up by paper, viewed by eyes, processed by the mind, and if worth while stored in the heart.
Each word recorded has the potential to be a seed of great value.
Each day alive is not lived for you alone.
A road to nowhere makes its way onto a map which ends at a tunnel of fear & Hope.
Once through and hope is restored a series of paths to be chosen only one choice to be made.
Walking through the density of life much trouble is revealed.
Innate senses say to flee but the tracks laid before pull saying to go forth.
A destination finally reach and a journey back seems easy.
Each step taken opens the doors of the heart untouched by God and hidden from man.
Streams now flow from the wells of eyes as sorrows of chapters already lived are rehearsed to the author of life.
One answer to many questions is whispered through the still air, "You did not go through this for yourself, but to bring someone else through."
With your life, bring someone else through.
With your words, bring someone else through.
Record Life!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Friendship is a Journey
Why do you speak to me when I shut down, close myself off and act rude toward you?
Because behind the rudeness & selfishness you have a heart of Gold. If no one ever takes the time to try and love you past above and beyond your set backs how can you ever truly rise above them.
God treats us like this, he loves us in spite of us not for anything we have done but because he knows what in us & cares for our soul.
I may not know what is fully wrapped up in u but what I have have seen is enough for me to look past you shutting down and closing yourself off. I have to be willing to take you as you are to see you get to where you need to be.
You love hard, and loving ain't easy so I don't expect getting into ya heart to be easy but I present myself as truthful as possible, with open ears and an open heart, to listen & understand what makes you who you are.
So my focus has to go beyond you & me but has to be God, because he created everything and it is to his glory that we even met, so the more I can focus on God the better I can relate to & with you.
Building a friendship is a journey, it is just as complicated as an intimate relationship because it is an intimate relationship with out the physical intimacy. These words are for those who want to build TRUE friendships, ones that last, ones that endure hard times, ones that sacrifice for one another, God like friendships, Christ like friendships, that will put their lives on the line for another.
Because behind the rudeness & selfishness you have a heart of Gold. If no one ever takes the time to try and love you past above and beyond your set backs how can you ever truly rise above them.
God treats us like this, he loves us in spite of us not for anything we have done but because he knows what in us & cares for our soul.
I may not know what is fully wrapped up in u but what I have have seen is enough for me to look past you shutting down and closing yourself off. I have to be willing to take you as you are to see you get to where you need to be.
You love hard, and loving ain't easy so I don't expect getting into ya heart to be easy but I present myself as truthful as possible, with open ears and an open heart, to listen & understand what makes you who you are.
So my focus has to go beyond you & me but has to be God, because he created everything and it is to his glory that we even met, so the more I can focus on God the better I can relate to & with you.
Building a friendship is a journey, it is just as complicated as an intimate relationship because it is an intimate relationship with out the physical intimacy. These words are for those who want to build TRUE friendships, ones that last, ones that endure hard times, ones that sacrifice for one another, God like friendships, Christ like friendships, that will put their lives on the line for another.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
More talk
I never really used this blog thing as a place to record thoughts but i think i like the idea, maybe it will help me talk less and think more...lol....but yeah fa real.
South Africa I am coming sorry for the delay and the dragging of my feat but you a far way away and thats a big move, and my faith is being built for me to walk out on those waters, but im coming baby.
This summer is lookin good imm excited Asia i got my ticket just waitin for the date to bounce...Ima be leaving people who i love and care for for a whole month but experiencing new things, and sights, FOOD UMMM, and people, so it will be a bitter sweet trip but more sweet I hope.
"OH Lord how I miss meh country four years now i livin in Charlotte as soon as ah geh some money ah comin home ah comin home....." Trinidad will be my last summer excursion that i know of. I am definitely excited about that haven't been home in so long and there will be much fun to be had hanging out with family so Trinidad here I come....and an America friend of mine is coming too he as red neck as they get which will be hilarious but a good time none the less....
I realize and am fortunate that I am blessed the way I am, it didn't come with out its share of weight and sorrow but I am oh so thankful for it all....
I wounder if my dad is actually gonna come to my graduation...i spoke to him for the first time in like 5.5 to 6 years last week, he said he always knew i would do well and that i will be famous, he said he knew it since i was a child...umh i wish someone would have to me that comin up.....It would be good if he came i guess i really cant get excited or too hopeful about this all but I pray that God really allows what needs to happen to happen....it just kinda sucks ya know....found him got his number called laughed a bit...then back to silence.....C'est la vie right....
This has been an interesting time i feel like im on a roller coaster ya know, one day im good got money in the bank bills paid feeling good being generous, next few weeks broke, next few days having a great time wit God, next few day feeling lost, next few day feelin smug, next few awesome cuz church was great and I had my meeting with my small group earlier that week, next week ehh mixed with blah and an opps dash of bitterness, then a health packed week of gym and good eating, and through it all i been keepin my hands up.....i swear it makes me so thankful for the little things in life. Seeing God in the little things enjoys "precious sweetness" which always adds to my day, helping a friend out, praying with and for people, and the awesome privilege to talk to God and take everything to Him big and small and he hears and cares and helps me with it all what a father, Mother, Friend,Counselor, head lifer, and the list goes on....
if you have added to my life I thank you, if you have taken away from it or tried to by comin at me wrong, talkin bout me in ways you wouldnt to my face, did some grimmy behind the back crap, tried to use me, or what eva thanks for making me better not bitter.....but im done for now......
South Africa I am coming sorry for the delay and the dragging of my feat but you a far way away and thats a big move, and my faith is being built for me to walk out on those waters, but im coming baby.
This summer is lookin good imm excited Asia i got my ticket just waitin for the date to bounce...Ima be leaving people who i love and care for for a whole month but experiencing new things, and sights, FOOD UMMM, and people, so it will be a bitter sweet trip but more sweet I hope.
"OH Lord how I miss meh country four years now i livin in Charlotte as soon as ah geh some money ah comin home ah comin home....." Trinidad will be my last summer excursion that i know of. I am definitely excited about that haven't been home in so long and there will be much fun to be had hanging out with family so Trinidad here I come....and an America friend of mine is coming too he as red neck as they get which will be hilarious but a good time none the less....
I realize and am fortunate that I am blessed the way I am, it didn't come with out its share of weight and sorrow but I am oh so thankful for it all....
I wounder if my dad is actually gonna come to my graduation...i spoke to him for the first time in like 5.5 to 6 years last week, he said he always knew i would do well and that i will be famous, he said he knew it since i was a child...umh i wish someone would have to me that comin up.....It would be good if he came i guess i really cant get excited or too hopeful about this all but I pray that God really allows what needs to happen to happen....it just kinda sucks ya know....found him got his number called laughed a bit...then back to silence.....C'est la vie right....
This has been an interesting time i feel like im on a roller coaster ya know, one day im good got money in the bank bills paid feeling good being generous, next few weeks broke, next few days having a great time wit God, next few day feeling lost, next few day feelin smug, next few awesome cuz church was great and I had my meeting with my small group earlier that week, next week ehh mixed with blah and an opps dash of bitterness, then a health packed week of gym and good eating, and through it all i been keepin my hands up.....i swear it makes me so thankful for the little things in life. Seeing God in the little things enjoys "precious sweetness" which always adds to my day, helping a friend out, praying with and for people, and the awesome privilege to talk to God and take everything to Him big and small and he hears and cares and helps me with it all what a father, Mother, Friend,Counselor, head lifer, and the list goes on....
if you have added to my life I thank you, if you have taken away from it or tried to by comin at me wrong, talkin bout me in ways you wouldnt to my face, did some grimmy behind the back crap, tried to use me, or what eva thanks for making me better not bitter.....but im done for now......
Not complaining just sayin
Well school is done, grades are in cap and gown has been picked up and family is on the way......excitement should be in the air but.......yeah its not here. I feel it trying to rise up and it will peak its head for but a moment like a familiar fragrance in the wind and then it disappears. The weight of it all is coming now, i have no more insurance from my parent, no real job yet, doing a lil temp work but nothin consistent....but lord us it as a context for blessings to flow.....
I know I will be alright..I know who my provider is and that He has definitely been supply for me for a minute now i can definitely say that but I'm ready to get it together...
I am a man man now.....I been paying my own bills for a while now handling my funds, paying my tithes, taking care of those pop up money drainers, and helping others out.
Now I am really really on my own, now comes the even bigger bills, health care, hopefully mortgage, savings, a woman lol the biggest yet most fulfilling bill lmao lol, idk life comes at you fast, and that's why I pray.
I know i got more to do with life other that just my profession of choice so i know i got that coming soon, i have lots of traveling coming up which i thank God for but when I return from it all the real world will be waiting, fists ready, pot holes hidden, weapons formed, and road blocks in place. I have only one weapon and that is faith which is powered by the word of God. So i am truly not complaining but I see whats coming and I am just praying for help and guidance, I am on the road to being wealthy in finances. God has richly blessed me with the love of friends, family both by blood and spirit, and new relationships that are being built that bless my life far greater than that green. So I press to let the green catch up with the rest. God teach me how to live in this world, using wisdom and discernment in my decision making. I want a family and they will be looking for me to provide, shucks I'm looking for me to provide, teach me how to be more Froogle and wise about saving and investing, please send me all the people i will need to help me in this venture.
Thank you for making a way for those who came before me and those who will be coming after and I know you can do it for me to, I ask and I seek, Knock Knock, so I will continue till i receive, find, and a door is open, waiting with expectancy and pre thanksgiving. Amen
Use me while I am on this process, to help others, and bring you more glory.
I know I will be alright..I know who my provider is and that He has definitely been supply for me for a minute now i can definitely say that but I'm ready to get it together...
I am a man man now.....I been paying my own bills for a while now handling my funds, paying my tithes, taking care of those pop up money drainers, and helping others out.
Now I am really really on my own, now comes the even bigger bills, health care, hopefully mortgage, savings, a woman lol the biggest yet most fulfilling bill lmao lol, idk life comes at you fast, and that's why I pray.
I know i got more to do with life other that just my profession of choice so i know i got that coming soon, i have lots of traveling coming up which i thank God for but when I return from it all the real world will be waiting, fists ready, pot holes hidden, weapons formed, and road blocks in place. I have only one weapon and that is faith which is powered by the word of God. So i am truly not complaining but I see whats coming and I am just praying for help and guidance, I am on the road to being wealthy in finances. God has richly blessed me with the love of friends, family both by blood and spirit, and new relationships that are being built that bless my life far greater than that green. So I press to let the green catch up with the rest. God teach me how to live in this world, using wisdom and discernment in my decision making. I want a family and they will be looking for me to provide, shucks I'm looking for me to provide, teach me how to be more Froogle and wise about saving and investing, please send me all the people i will need to help me in this venture.
Thank you for making a way for those who came before me and those who will be coming after and I know you can do it for me to, I ask and I seek, Knock Knock, so I will continue till i receive, find, and a door is open, waiting with expectancy and pre thanksgiving. Amen
Use me while I am on this process, to help others, and bring you more glory.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Do you really want a drink......
This cup shall not pass, so I consume it, for the content is what I must become.
Picked when my season comes,
crushed and bruised being drained of all my content only to be shut in and fermented by the sting of the beaten just received.
We were not meant to be consumed by our cup, but to consume it and stand with it in us carrying it around till it is time to lay it down and say that it is finished.
Some call me crazy for drinking the cup full of sorrow & pain for the sake of expressing true love.
But, those were my instruction, that was the example given, and there has not been a greater one since.
Cheers, bottoms up, Ohpa.......
Here goes everything
Pray I can keep it down.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Why Wine
Wine servers it purpose, to sooth and relax.
Sit back and enjoy the simple complexities of life.
Stopping to smell the buttery floral fruity spiceyness of chard oak.
Is that not like life? Filled with so much joy and peace to the point of eruption and yet bound in chard barrel of life's dirtiest hand, and sealed with God's amazing grace.
We are just but ordinary people yet we fight ourselves and others for the sake of individuality. We are ordinary in that we do not need to fight to be extra-ordinary.
We are above and beyond ordinary and yet and still we kill for a bill that has nothing to with who we are or what we can do.
Extra-ordinary, extraordinarily amazing people, hiding behind a mask they were never meant to wear.
We are nothing but crushed people fermented by the air of life and bound in the chared barrels of our existance, sustained by grace.
Isn't it amazing that we can smell like flowers yet grew up in someone else crap.
Have hints of tropical fruit but were mass produced on the side of a mountain with no fruit in sight except for us.
Tastes of honey and lavender, though dipped in sorrow, almost drowning.
A simple grape; what a taste affliction produce, when refined in a barrel that went through the flames, and made it through still strong enough to hold us and refine us in to a beautiful glass of wine.
Sit back and enjoy the simple complexities of life.
Stopping to smell the buttery floral fruity spiceyness of chard oak.
Is that not like life? Filled with so much joy and peace to the point of eruption and yet bound in chard barrel of life's dirtiest hand, and sealed with God's amazing grace.
We are just but ordinary people yet we fight ourselves and others for the sake of individuality. We are ordinary in that we do not need to fight to be extra-ordinary.
We are above and beyond ordinary and yet and still we kill for a bill that has nothing to with who we are or what we can do.
Extra-ordinary, extraordinarily amazing people, hiding behind a mask they were never meant to wear.
We are nothing but crushed people fermented by the air of life and bound in the chared barrels of our existance, sustained by grace.
Isn't it amazing that we can smell like flowers yet grew up in someone else crap.
Have hints of tropical fruit but were mass produced on the side of a mountain with no fruit in sight except for us.
Tastes of honey and lavender, though dipped in sorrow, almost drowning.
A simple grape; what a taste affliction produce, when refined in a barrel that went through the flames, and made it through still strong enough to hold us and refine us in to a beautiful glass of wine.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Psalm 1 of Bryan
This is something I wrote from the heart toward God. IDK if its wrong to call it a psalm but it is what it is.
Lord you are the strength of my soul.
When there is no one here you are with me.
When I have fallen away you are with me.
Even when I sin against you, you are with me.
I cry out and you hear me; though your answers at times seems slow coming or non existent, you continue to show that you hear and answer prayers.
Daily I ask let me not deceive myself when doing so comes like a snake in the cover of darkness, unnoticed and deadly.
Save me not just from my enemies but from myself as well.
Show me where I resist you Oh Lord that I may surrender to your will and your way.
Let me not speak to your people lest it is in spirit & Truth, directed and guided by your Spirit.
Holy Spirit help me judge and discern righteously.
Spirit of the living God you are welcome into my heart, mind, and spirit, give me the life that only comes from you.
Strengthen your servant in Spirit, Truth, and Love.
Amen
Lord you are the strength of my soul.
When there is no one here you are with me.
When I have fallen away you are with me.
Even when I sin against you, you are with me.
I cry out and you hear me; though your answers at times seems slow coming or non existent, you continue to show that you hear and answer prayers.
Daily I ask let me not deceive myself when doing so comes like a snake in the cover of darkness, unnoticed and deadly.
Save me not just from my enemies but from myself as well.
Show me where I resist you Oh Lord that I may surrender to your will and your way.
Let me not speak to your people lest it is in spirit & Truth, directed and guided by your Spirit.
Holy Spirit help me judge and discern righteously.
Spirit of the living God you are welcome into my heart, mind, and spirit, give me the life that only comes from you.
Strengthen your servant in Spirit, Truth, and Love.
Amen
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Response to Why I Cry
Without tears true inspiration can not be birthed. The tears of our lives seem to water the seeds of our future and with out the water no increase can be made. The sorrow felt feels like shit, with out that there would be nothing for a seed to grow in. I don’t know why God saw fit to allow for manure to be the most effective thing for growing a seed up but I tell you the truth after all the I been trough and all the tears they have wrought my future seems that much brighter. What’s to come will break through all that crap and stand above it and it will work out for good. The waste others dump on me God allows for it to feed a seed and grow it to mature me. This is why I cry.
@
mrqspeaks.blogspot.com
Written by Claude
I LIke White People
I like whit people. what a peculiar bunch so similar…. yet so different! I don’t like them more or less… I just like’em. Their different, and I like’em….. have you ever really observed them, I mean just watch them, like an owl in the night just sit and observe. Some bird watch some whale watch but I white watch. Yeah I see the hate and prejudice the superiority complexes and all that jazz but there is much more to them its what lies beneath they are as lied to, misrepresented hurt and abused as you an me their spirit is wrapped in shades of egg shell tan kaki and off-white, while ours is brown mahogany oak and black I like white people! their smiles are like mine their hearts bleed like mine, their soul rejoices like mine, their spirit, our spirit, God’s spirit its just like mine if Jesus was white…. so what if he was cuz I dare to say I love white people. Eyes of blue, green, brown, and gray sometime chameleons depending on the time of day. there is no white mans world or black mans world its our world we can conform and stick to what we know or we can open up and see what to like about the whites. My love does not start and stop at blacks or whites I love them all…..close your eyes can you see what color I am; we all turn a cloudy gray under the cover of night. I love white people…all people my people your people God’s people why cuz were all people perfectly imperfect. So I say to you I like white people.
To Be High or Not to Be High
So many people try to tell me who I should be and what I should do lord its really just between me and you. As I try to survive the attack…… good and evil wolf against wolf the prize a human soul wrapped in flesh . I know its through you I’ll never die. So I search for mental stimulation looking for it in people and things of all sort yet none help in my situation. Oh what is it that im looking for God only you know; how I plow through this dense snow. Trapped in a blizzard of mental confusion each flake complex and different. AAHHH UHHHH Sight blinded by all this confusion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!........................so I take a break and attempt to elevate…………mmmmmm it hits so good, ohh and feels so great. But this break, they try to take. Im not that abuser. Lord I am a user but not an abuser. Will this keep me from you? I speak to you when I’m happy sad high or regular so does this bit greenery make me the black sheep. Am I no longer yours, am I not welcome as I am will this hold me back from my higher calling?
A lesson Learned
Eh…. Qu’est ca tu veux fait, C’est la vie.
Deceived by the kind, misled by the fragile, opened up by the naïve, playing the role of the back seat driver.
I watch this vessel go by occupied by a front seat passenger. I watch the driver turn in circles driving fast down a dead end relationship, through the tunnel of lust and lies by the cost feeling the pleasures of a good wave ride, over the bridge of unfaithfulness, up and down the speed bumps of caution yet passing over them like freshly laid asphalt. I watch and decide to intervene and secretly slide in the back seat of her situation while the passenger is distracted by the finer vessels to the left and right. I guide her down the routs less traveled and down streets that let her know she is going in a better direction. While the passenger is in and out of other vessels I humbly sit in the back seat stroking her every yearning desire to be sat in like a Roles Royce driven like a Bentley, admired like a Ferrari. As I reach forward and begin to shift her gears her engine roars, and her oils start dripping as she begins to heat up. Never has she been driven so well without the passenger under here hood and in and out in and out in and out her…..tank. So as her passenger seat is being ill treated and neglected, I try to take my place next to her with both our hands on the gear sift……..sccccccrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkk. Im flung into the windshield by a sudden stop of misconception. The misconception that I ask for more than what is owed. I was the mechanic who worked for free, simply to fix the broken down misused velo. Her loyalty and ignorant judgment in selecting a poorly qualified passenger who’s worth can only be measured by how well he can pump her gas and fill her trunk from time to time was of greater value. As silent as my entry so I depart. Driving down the road to righteousness by Gods direction, absent of visible passengers. Driving as a light not a hazard, singing my hearts song to my unknown bride with my windows down just in case she can hear me.
If the one for me is in ear shot of these words I say “Oh gosh nah baby beep ya horn, come outta meh blind spot so I can see ya, and come be ya driva”
Can you hear me ???? Because I can feel you, I know u are there and we are already one. Till then I continue driving and singing cruzing and learning.
Eh…. Qu’est ca tu veux fait, C’est la vie.
I’m great full for the lessons on the road to destiny despite the detours road blocks and pot holes.
C’est la vie
Stand Up for love
Love is not a person that picks and chooses who it will be with
it is the very current of life.
Love is that thing that connects mother to child, and what makes a person jump into the street to save a someone they don’t even know.
Love is not something to be grasped and misused.
Love can not be sexed, sucked, ridden, wooed or courted.
Love is much more, love is not a feeling, it is the factory by which feelings are produced
Don’t blame your heart failures on love, love is no respect a person, so if your missing love then your looking in the wrong places.
Love love where art thou, cast down your hair that I may climb up.
Love love why have you forsaken me.
Love replies: "I'M BALD!
And my window is not big enough for you to fit through but you can take the stairs.
Your handy cap is not an issue, there’s no ramp for you.
No excuses!
I'm sorry you have no legs, but you have to take the stairs like everyone else.
I stay where I am and you can always find me here.
If you need some help I know someone who can help you. She created me. He created me. Mother and father wrapped in one, making me which allows me to be so complete.
I didn't mess up your life, but when I don’t come down to your situation and walk happily around it you curse me.
That’s ok cuz Im love and that crap don’t bother me
Everyone blames me for the crap that others do and act as if they knew love
Why have I forsaken you…….nigga im right here!!!
Take the stairs, stop bein lazy, take the stairs
You will sweat, but some how it tastes sweet
If you know not what I'm talking bout you have neva had the right kinda sweat
Why have I forsaken you…..no no I have not forsaken you, you seem to have a misconception of me and you fall into misconception love and then talk about how you hate me.
I'm used to it.
I'm standing, watchin ,waitin
I will continue to take the blame cuz that’s what love does"
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Le Portail De L'âme
they that have eyes to see......have closed them. They that have ears to hear..........have blocked them........they that have a mind........despise wisdom and understanding. Who turns down knowledge, power, peace, and truth, one who loves darkness. Who doesn't love the dark.....i mean it covers and consumes that which needs to be hidden, it hides imperfections, hides secret places, and keeps the fearful away. But i can't see............
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