Mystic & Theologian

As I carried two bags of trash to the dumpster I saw a girl sweeping and these are the thoughts that came to me. 

She reminded me of a barista friend who had recently moved to Boston on a full scholarship to Harvard University to study theology. Kelsey is her name, and she is an awesome person whom I admire. She is a thinker and has a relationship with Christ that is very different than my own. I began to think of the sad divorce between the mystic and the theologian. This is a small picture of a greater divorce but is  the frame work of this thought. I wondered, what would it look like for the theologian and the mystic to be in community together? For the mystic to trust the theologian and the theologian to trust the mystic, so much so that they could lend to one another. How I long for such union and communion, when the mystic is not trying to convert the theologian, and the theologian is not trying to indoctrinate the mystic. The two live in harmony with one another, they get lost in the gifts and beauty of the other, and the result of this over time is a beautiful union where neither is exalted  above the other, instead, there is only one that remains. That one is both, and the glory of the two becoming one is far surpassing than that of the individuals.

God, through the spirit, seeks to abide in us and us in him in such a way that it cause a beautiful union. God freely gives to us, and we freely give to him. God boosts in us and we boost in God, he cares for the small, seemingly insignificant things in our lives, and we care for intricate seemingly insignificant beauty that he creates. This is an abiding union that teaches us truth in the inner most parts and causes us to have true fellowship with God. Such a fellowship is not one of constant bliss and exuberance, but it is one of truth and honesty, challenge and perseverance. Its a union where I can be a hot mess and totally undone, yet am met with patient pursuit and covering. A fellowship that allows me to see into the undone heart of God and be overwhelmed with beauty, compassion, sorrow, holy anger, endless grace and mercy.

In these two unions between mystic and theologian, man and God there is a fulness that we began to step into. Now this I see as only the beginning and a portion of what it takes to have fellowship with God. We must also make room for the stranger, the poor, the wealthy, the broken, the prideful, our enemies, and our neighbors. The only way that our hearts can expand to actually take all these in, and give them space within, is to allow the father to abide in us and us in the Father. Paul is such a great example of this. A theologian of theologians, a zealous man and a persecutor of the church. He was encountered by a blinding light and heard a mysterious voice. His sight was lost, his mission ended, and God began to reveal his love and pursuit of his soul. Once Paul regained his sight, received the true spirit of God and dwelt therein, his life became one that will forever be remembered. A small and hardenned heart grew to love and care for not only his nation but all that nations of the world. His love for Israel grew beyond her boards and into all the Earth, simply because the one who created all things began to move into the depths of his soul.

Walking with God and befriending him feels impossible and far beyond my capacity, yet it is the life and journey by which I find myself. Pursuing the impossible, with the infinite one. May this be my life, may this be my love.