I left Charlotte North Carolina on September 12th 2014 to come to the Big Island, Hawaii, to live and work on a small farm. The arrangement was that in exchange for 10 hours of work a week my room and board would be covered, and any hours spent over that would be paid. I came to Hawaii to get away, to clear my head, to spend time in prayer, and to be refreshed by rest and the presence of God. My first two weeks were the exact opposite of what I came to do. I couldn't rest physically, communication with people was terrible, I didn't seem to fit, and didnt have the energy to try and make it work. I kept asking myself who fails at relaxing in Hawaii?!?!?!?!?!
By nature I always try to make things work, stick it out, make it over the rough side of a situation, but this was not a season for battle and striving, but one of rest. Thus I began to search for other places to go. I had four options, the first was to go and visit with a family who just moved to Oahu from Charlotte, the second, stay in hostels around the island and explore, third, stay at a really nice hotel ball out until I ran out of cash, then just go home. The fourth and final option, check out YWAM (Youth With A Mission at the University of the Nations) . After much consideration I decided to give YWAM a shot. I knew that I did not have the cash for this, but felt that provoking in my spirit to try it anyway. I prayed that the doors would be closed if it wasn't God's will, and I wasn't expecting all that came next.
A new wave of students had already arrived and had been on campus for about week when I decided to go and poke around. I had visited the website a dozen times and finally settled on doing a Fire and Fragrance DTS (Discipleship Training School) if it was possible. Saturday before classes were to begin I decided to go and walk around campus to gather more information. All offices were closed so I decided to visit the classroom for that DTS. I spent time praying in the space, trying to discern if this was a place for me. As I read the things they had hanging on the walls, so much of it resonated within. I spent over an hour praying and reading and soaking in the goodness of what I felt. I prayed a blessing over the school and decided to finish my application. Students had already arrived, I missed orientation, I didnt have the money, and the list of things that ought to have disqualified me goes on.
The following Monday I met with Greg the Fire and Fragrance school leader and he invited me to sit in on the entire day of classes while they tried to see if it was possible for me to join. I was invited to come back on Tuesday after I finished up the application. In class the next day I found out that I was accepted, no money yet paid, but I was accepted. I emptied out my accounts minus what I felt I needed for miscelanious things, and made a down payment. I had four weeks to pay off my tuition and I had no clue how that was going to happen. To add to this, a part of a YWAM DTS is outreach to another country which was a totally separate fee. One day while on break during class I was sipping a cup of tea and praying when I looked to my right and saw an arrow pointing in the direction of the Shire. I laughed. As a Lord of the Rings fan and a christian this was super cheesy but I loved it. Then ever so softly I felt The Lord say, lets go there. I replied that I don't even know if it is an option for outreach but if it is I will go. I sat down in class after the break and the first thing out of the speakers mouth was "today we are announcing outreach locations!" I laughed and waited to see if I was crazy or if I actually heard from The Lord. The options were, NE India, Nepal, Cambodia,Amsterdam, South Africa, Japan, and you guessed it NEW ZEALAND! New Zealand is where the Shire is, its where Lord of the Rings was filmed, and its where I felt just moments ago The Lord invited me to go.
All of this is well and good but I had no money for any of this. So I made a plan to sell my car, couch, and TV, which should be able to pay the 3,670.00 for tuition. I posted my car and couch and they didnt sell. Not even a ping on my car, couch didn't sell and I was still working on selling the TV and entertainment center. On Monday of the week of our finical deadline I was in worship and felt the grace to let it go. I do not know how to describe it, I received grace to let go of what was precious, valuable and all I really had of value. I began to give away things that I didnt even plan to sell, things that cost much less than cars, big scree TVs and couches. Then, I offered up the car, the TV, and the couch, and said to The Lord no plan B. My assets couldn't pay for everything anyway, so if this is what your inviting me into I'mah need for you to provide. To add to this I missed the announcement that a deposit for outreach fees were due that thursday, an additional 2,500.00!!!! I learned from pastors and frineds that when what you have isn't enough, then be generous to others with what you have and trust The Lord to meet alll of your needs.
****Disclaimer this is often in times of transition and not for the purpose of testing The Lord or trying to get something for our own selfish desires. The Spirit beckons us into this type of surrender, this is not a testing of God
The due date arrived with no miraculous provision to be seen. There were many other situations that encouraged me to believe The Lord was going to come through but zero evidence of it in real time. We gathered in class after our lecture time and my school leader began to write names on the board, mine at the top. He wrote out the names of all of the students who had an outstanding balance for tuition, mine by far the greatest, and said that he believed that the funds were in the room to provide for us all. I felt both exposed and humbled. Having your needs exposed is never fun, but it wasn't shaming. So Greg lead the class in a prayer to ask The Lord if and what should be given and to whom. After a few moments of silence people began to go up to him with their amount and the person that it was for. I bowed my head and simply prayed that God would lead this. Before I knew it people were walking up to me, handing me checks and cash, some for unreal totals. Over the next 5 minutes I went from owing the school to having all my lecture fees paid off!!! This would have made for a great story but there was more! Within the next few minutes just about all of the funds were raised for the 2,500 dollar deposit, 2,302.00 to be exact. This was an awesome day to say the least and all I could do was weep.
As a charismatic Pentecostal christian I desire to see The Lord do miraculous things, like pull gold coins out of a fishes mouth or finding a large some of money in a loaf of bread, from the local bakery (a true story of a YWAMer here in Kona). I would much prefer The Lord tell me to go downtown look for someone in a red yellow and green shirt with a blue hat and say this or that and they will give you what you need. Or better yet for things just to appear in some spontaneous miraculous way. These are all things I beleive The Lord has, can, and still does but I often prefer them over the help of those around me. Having our needs and lack exposed before God is one thing, but to have it exposed before a crowd of people you are still just beginning to know is another. Being served by the body of Christ is humbling, especially when they are missionaries and they have raised support, worked really hard, and give their lives to help others. Its like Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. It would have been easier and less humiliating if He would have just pronounced that they were clean and had a part with him rather than getting on the ground and actually washing their feet. Jesus performed many miracles in their presence, and even through them but who would have thought that it was in the washing of their feet that Jesus would say; that without you receiving this service from me, you can have no part with me.
Seeing the miraculous doesn't humble like receiving the service of God. With all power, with all authority, God humbled himself to wash the feet of his disciples before they could embark on the journey that was approaching. I see this at work in this season of my life, my feet were washed in the generosity of my peers and leaders and I now have a part with them, as we journey with The Lord.
By nature I always try to make things work, stick it out, make it over the rough side of a situation, but this was not a season for battle and striving, but one of rest. Thus I began to search for other places to go. I had four options, the first was to go and visit with a family who just moved to Oahu from Charlotte, the second, stay in hostels around the island and explore, third, stay at a really nice hotel ball out until I ran out of cash, then just go home. The fourth and final option, check out YWAM (Youth With A Mission at the University of the Nations) . After much consideration I decided to give YWAM a shot. I knew that I did not have the cash for this, but felt that provoking in my spirit to try it anyway. I prayed that the doors would be closed if it wasn't God's will, and I wasn't expecting all that came next.
A new wave of students had already arrived and had been on campus for about week when I decided to go and poke around. I had visited the website a dozen times and finally settled on doing a Fire and Fragrance DTS (Discipleship Training School) if it was possible. Saturday before classes were to begin I decided to go and walk around campus to gather more information. All offices were closed so I decided to visit the classroom for that DTS. I spent time praying in the space, trying to discern if this was a place for me. As I read the things they had hanging on the walls, so much of it resonated within. I spent over an hour praying and reading and soaking in the goodness of what I felt. I prayed a blessing over the school and decided to finish my application. Students had already arrived, I missed orientation, I didnt have the money, and the list of things that ought to have disqualified me goes on.
The following Monday I met with Greg the Fire and Fragrance school leader and he invited me to sit in on the entire day of classes while they tried to see if it was possible for me to join. I was invited to come back on Tuesday after I finished up the application. In class the next day I found out that I was accepted, no money yet paid, but I was accepted. I emptied out my accounts minus what I felt I needed for miscelanious things, and made a down payment. I had four weeks to pay off my tuition and I had no clue how that was going to happen. To add to this, a part of a YWAM DTS is outreach to another country which was a totally separate fee. One day while on break during class I was sipping a cup of tea and praying when I looked to my right and saw an arrow pointing in the direction of the Shire. I laughed. As a Lord of the Rings fan and a christian this was super cheesy but I loved it. Then ever so softly I felt The Lord say, lets go there. I replied that I don't even know if it is an option for outreach but if it is I will go. I sat down in class after the break and the first thing out of the speakers mouth was "today we are announcing outreach locations!" I laughed and waited to see if I was crazy or if I actually heard from The Lord. The options were, NE India, Nepal, Cambodia,Amsterdam, South Africa, Japan, and you guessed it NEW ZEALAND! New Zealand is where the Shire is, its where Lord of the Rings was filmed, and its where I felt just moments ago The Lord invited me to go.
All of this is well and good but I had no money for any of this. So I made a plan to sell my car, couch, and TV, which should be able to pay the 3,670.00 for tuition. I posted my car and couch and they didnt sell. Not even a ping on my car, couch didn't sell and I was still working on selling the TV and entertainment center. On Monday of the week of our finical deadline I was in worship and felt the grace to let it go. I do not know how to describe it, I received grace to let go of what was precious, valuable and all I really had of value. I began to give away things that I didnt even plan to sell, things that cost much less than cars, big scree TVs and couches. Then, I offered up the car, the TV, and the couch, and said to The Lord no plan B. My assets couldn't pay for everything anyway, so if this is what your inviting me into I'mah need for you to provide. To add to this I missed the announcement that a deposit for outreach fees were due that thursday, an additional 2,500.00!!!! I learned from pastors and frineds that when what you have isn't enough, then be generous to others with what you have and trust The Lord to meet alll of your needs.
****Disclaimer this is often in times of transition and not for the purpose of testing The Lord or trying to get something for our own selfish desires. The Spirit beckons us into this type of surrender, this is not a testing of God
The due date arrived with no miraculous provision to be seen. There were many other situations that encouraged me to believe The Lord was going to come through but zero evidence of it in real time. We gathered in class after our lecture time and my school leader began to write names on the board, mine at the top. He wrote out the names of all of the students who had an outstanding balance for tuition, mine by far the greatest, and said that he believed that the funds were in the room to provide for us all. I felt both exposed and humbled. Having your needs exposed is never fun, but it wasn't shaming. So Greg lead the class in a prayer to ask The Lord if and what should be given and to whom. After a few moments of silence people began to go up to him with their amount and the person that it was for. I bowed my head and simply prayed that God would lead this. Before I knew it people were walking up to me, handing me checks and cash, some for unreal totals. Over the next 5 minutes I went from owing the school to having all my lecture fees paid off!!! This would have made for a great story but there was more! Within the next few minutes just about all of the funds were raised for the 2,500 dollar deposit, 2,302.00 to be exact. This was an awesome day to say the least and all I could do was weep.
As a charismatic Pentecostal christian I desire to see The Lord do miraculous things, like pull gold coins out of a fishes mouth or finding a large some of money in a loaf of bread, from the local bakery (a true story of a YWAMer here in Kona). I would much prefer The Lord tell me to go downtown look for someone in a red yellow and green shirt with a blue hat and say this or that and they will give you what you need. Or better yet for things just to appear in some spontaneous miraculous way. These are all things I beleive The Lord has, can, and still does but I often prefer them over the help of those around me. Having our needs and lack exposed before God is one thing, but to have it exposed before a crowd of people you are still just beginning to know is another. Being served by the body of Christ is humbling, especially when they are missionaries and they have raised support, worked really hard, and give their lives to help others. Its like Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. It would have been easier and less humiliating if He would have just pronounced that they were clean and had a part with him rather than getting on the ground and actually washing their feet. Jesus performed many miracles in their presence, and even through them but who would have thought that it was in the washing of their feet that Jesus would say; that without you receiving this service from me, you can have no part with me.
Seeing the miraculous doesn't humble like receiving the service of God. With all power, with all authority, God humbled himself to wash the feet of his disciples before they could embark on the journey that was approaching. I see this at work in this season of my life, my feet were washed in the generosity of my peers and leaders and I now have a part with them, as we journey with The Lord.
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